The humble houseparty. Or Trashicus Gafficus in Latin.
I was originally going to write this blog about my birthday, and turning twenty nine, and passing another milestone in my neverending taxi-ride toward death, chauffered by non other than Father Time himself. But then I had a birthday houseparty, and found that to be more fun to write about instead.
I had initially composed a paragraph or three on some of the party shenanigans, using false names to protect the innocent (and indeed, the guilty), but then I realised that such an exposé would guarantee zero attendance at any of my future shindigs. Hence I have prepared a simple chart outlining highlights of the night in question. All I can say, is that it involved one incident of bedwetting, several flashes of nudity, one incident of fellating a champagne bottle, one hour of drunken guitar-playing, multiple instances of people inappropriately eating the faces off each other, and one incident of getting drunk by osmosis (in which the man known simply as Don Gallfinger fell asleep in a puddle of beer and stayed intoxicated for approximately eight hours without actually drinking anything).
I had initially composed a paragraph or three on some of the party shenanigans, using false names to protect the innocent (and indeed, the guilty), but then I realised that such an exposé would guarantee zero attendance at any of my future shindigs. Hence I have prepared a simple chart outlining highlights of the night in question. All I can say, is that it involved one incident of bedwetting, several flashes of nudity, one incident of fellating a champagne bottle, one hour of drunken guitar-playing, multiple instances of people inappropriately eating the faces off each other, and one incident of getting drunk by osmosis (in which the man known simply as Don Gallfinger fell asleep in a puddle of beer and stayed intoxicated for approximately eight hours without actually drinking anything).
(Click on the picture for a closer gander)
NB: The unit of measurement used in this table is octanity, as popularised in the late seventies by Professor Alphonsus Cinnamondo (University College Cork), renowned for his in-depth studies on hilarity.
Suffice to say, it was a bloody good party.
And what made it so? What makes any houseparty so? Is it about the coordination? Is it about the planning?
No. In truth, the best houseparties are like piss-ups in a brewery.
They just happen.
NB: The unit of measurement used in this table is octanity, as popularised in the late seventies by Professor Alphonsus Cinnamondo (University College Cork), renowned for his in-depth studies on hilarity.
Suffice to say, it was a bloody good party.
And what made it so? What makes any houseparty so? Is it about the coordination? Is it about the planning?
No. In truth, the best houseparties are like piss-ups in a brewery.
They just happen.
CB out
PS I am keeping this blog pretty much in the spirit of the houseparty in question, in that it doesn't really have much of an ending...
PS I am keeping this blog pretty much in the spirit of the houseparty in question, in that it doesn't really have much of an ending...
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